Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Its Dark and demented but I try to smile , Its cold and loveless but I try to survive
No one can see that my heart is drowning in sorrow
Tears I try to hold back and words I often swallow , I am bleeding on inside and smiling on the out
If only I wished to make people understand what I’m about
How I feel , to understand that sometimes I just want to give up and die ?
Perhaps now I feel that its time to end the facade
Perhaps stand for a battle and prepare myself
Perhaps with no one’s help
May be I will find the will to survive because I want to come out of this war alive
I will find my way at the end of this fight , I will survive against the demons of darkness and night
Will hope keep me from allowing defeat , will it keep me from being week ?
Or will it just shatter me up in the end ? May be I should just give up ? Hope real or fake wont be enough
Not even close to what I need to win , may be I should just give up ? To win , it would need a miracle the one only god can send
Oh why should I try to survive , when it kills to breath even when I am alive ?
All that comes my way is pain and sorrow why should I worry whether I will make It to tomorrow ?
Moments and pictures and captured time , sickened pleasure and a twisted pain
Invisible bleeding scars and bleeding veins , seeking the cure to find my way
Drowning myself before the end of the day , darkness enveloping my mind
Hopelessness my thoughts of flight
The void swallowing every glimpse of light
Struggling to find a cute to the suspension , I realized condemned souls don’t receive any mention
Its not pitty that hass made me what I am today , but it’s the endless suffering
Endured with the hands of peril , trying to cut the jagged edges tainting the wounds of agony
If only I had the will to forsee the lies every one laid in front of me I would have choosed to suffer rather than believe
Dormant will I lay inside the disease , despite my pain , despite my plea’s will u ever take time to hear me ?
If I begged for mercy to god , would you just one last time hear me ?
The sweet but bitter pain riding on the wings of agony and lead
Hearts beating like a jagged stone beating in a body that is almost dead
Life plea’s to lifelessness in solitary chains of silence trying to unjumble the words unsaid
Wishing it had left the soul before it had fled
It feels like giving and just giving but seems since for ever like this
Living without the guiding star to lead me out of the abyss
No don’t feel sorry for me this is my life eventually and It will be alight eventually
The only thing I wish to know is when it will be ?
So many times my heart has been filled with pain,
And deep behind my eyes are pockets of tears that are ready to fall like rain.
I know at times I may appear to be tough,
but sometimes to bear the pain and heartache can be too much.
Happiness too will be mine, so until then I'll keep my my head up and eyes towards the skies,
And never allowing anyone to see the tears hidden behind my eye..